Have you ever wondered how to turn rejection into redirection, or how to build unshakeable self-esteem despite growing up in a challenging environment? We tackle these questions and more in a riveting conversation with the multitalented Clarissa Burt, acclaimed media personality, supermodel, author, and CEO of Limelight Media. We shine the spotlight on her journey from supermodel stardom to becoming a beacon of empowerment and resilience.
In this engaging session, Clarissa candidly shares her experiences, from growing up in a violent environment to meeting Pope John Paul II. She reveals her transformative strategies for self-improvement and resilience, underscoring the importance of being the best version of ourselves. We also delve into the insights from her best-selling book, 'The Self Esteem Regime', and its mission to empower individuals around the globe.
But this chat isn't just about self-esteem and resilience, we also explore the often-overlooked challenges men face in today's world. Clarissa shares her thoughts on the importance of giving men more love and attention, while also discussing our shared responsibility in creating a more balanced and respectful society. It's a profound conversation that will leave you inspired, informed, and ready to take on whatever life throws your way. Tune in, and empower yourself with the wisdom and experiences of the extraordinary Clarissa Burt.
Have you ever wondered how to turn rejection into redirection, or how to build unshakeable self-esteem despite growing up in a challenging environment? We tackle these questions and more in a riveting conversation with the multitalented Clarissa Burt, acclaimed media personality, supermodel, author, and CEO of Limelight Media. We shine the spotlight on her journey from supermodel stardom to becoming a beacon of empowerment and resilience.
In this engaging session, Clarissa candidly shares her experiences, from growing up in a violent environment to meeting Pope John Paul II. She reveals her transformative strategies for self-improvement and resilience, underscoring the importance of being the best version of ourselves. We also delve into the insights from her best-selling book, 'The Self Esteem Regime', and its mission to empower individuals around the globe.
But this chat isn't just about self-esteem and resilience, we also explore the often-overlooked challenges men face in today's world. Clarissa shares her thoughts on the importance of giving men more love and attention, while also discussing our shared responsibility in creating a more balanced and respectful society. It's a profound conversation that will leave you inspired, informed, and ready to take on whatever life throws your way. Tune in, and empower yourself with the wisdom and experiences of the extraordinary Clarissa Burt.
Today's guest is the internationally acclaimed Clarissa Burt. Clarissa is a media powerhouse. She has a career that spans over 35 years in international and American markets. She is a former supermodel, award-winning media personality, actress, producer, director and author. She has left an indelible mark in the entertainment industry. Clarissa is the founder and CEO of Limelight Media. Limelight Media is a multimedia platform that encompasses TV video programming. She has a podcast, digital magazine, etc. Her shows reach global audiences on platforms like Roku, amazon, fire, apple TV. Her podcast is heard globally, has listeners around the world. She's also the author of a best-selling book called The Self-Esteem Regiment, which has garnered international acclaim and received a number of different awards. Her storytelling has resonated with readers and listeners worldwide.
Speaker 1:In addition to her remarkable professional career, her contributions have gone well beyond entertainment. She's done some really interesting things. She was the first American to present on Russian TV at the Kremlin. She's been recognized for her social work and she's actually had private audiences with Pope John Paul II I believe two of them. As an ambassador to the United Nations, she actively supported a group of African women in their pursuit of the Nobel Peace Prize, which they ended up winning. This was an interesting conversation. She's a very interesting woman. We will dive into her journey, her work in media and talk a little bit about her book. Without further ado, here is Clarissa Burt. Hi, Clarissa, welcome to the show. I'm excited to speak with you. This is going to be so much fun.
Speaker 2:I'm so thrilled you have me on. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. You have an unbelievably fascinating background. You've done so many things. I doubt we'll even be able to get into all of them, because I've been around a long time.
Speaker 2:I've just been around longer than most people. That's all, craig, that's all it is Well.
Speaker 1:I mean you're being humble because a lot of people that are around a long time accomplish a fraction of what you've accomplished. I want to get into the book. The book's fascinating to me. I have two daughters. It's something that's very relevant to my parenting and things I deal with. Anybody that's listened to the show before I talk about my daughters, a lot about it. But before we get into that, i mean your career is pretty fascinating, starting off as essentially a supermodel, and since then you've become an actress, a producer, a writer. You run a media company or a personality. You've done things all over the world. You're a speaker. Talk to me a little bit about your journey, just from a high level.
Speaker 2:It actually started when I was Mary Poppins in the kindergarten play I just wanted to make that I was born. When I sang Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and I got a standing ovation, I caught the bug right then and there.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:I knew that I love the stage and I love the microphone And that was a place I wanted to be fast forward like another 30 years, about 25 years, until I actually got on stage And the first stages really were the modeling stages, which really was what it was. But then I was able to. As I was living in Italy, i was called to be on television there And that's when I started. Not only I had to speak in Italian, so I had to up my game there, but, being everything I was doing on TV, there was live, so I had to learn live timing and live TV and how to not the fear factor. Can you imagine going? well, you're on. 8 million people are looking at you right now.
Speaker 2:I don't know that thing, so you learn really quickly what the game is all about. I just loved it. So for me it was really kind of I think it was intrinsic, if you will, in me to have a stage or a platform in some way shape or form. In the beginning years were the formative years Again the modeling and the acting and the you know on camera talent, and then as I moved into my own productions television productions were really the precursor. I think it was really more of a preparative process for me to be able to be really comfortable.
Speaker 2:Now, no matter where I go, i mean I can very easily. You know, it's funny because I got to preface this by saying there's a really cool quote that Seinfeld says, and it goes something like this You know, at the funeral I'd rather be the guy in the coffin than the guy standing on the podium giving the eulogy for the fear of public speaking. Right, absolutely. I was really blessed in that. I got over that years ago. I had all of that. I had the dry mouth, i had that you know heart in my chest for two days before I went live. I mean, i did all of that.
Speaker 2:Now it's just like where's the microphone? Give me the microphone, hold my beer. Where's the microphone? You know that kind of thing And it's just that easy. So you know I get up in front of 300 people to go to dinners with no problem at all. So I know I've really hit my stride when it came to being on stage And now I've taken what it is I've learned in life and put it into purpose and put it into practice through my book And that's why you know I'm really, i'm really so, so proud of the work As I was growing up. You know I mean, and you know I grew up, you know, like a lot of us didn't have some of the happiest beginnings, right.
Speaker 1:I mean with.
Speaker 2:You know, back in the day we had no computers and we had no internet and all of that. There was none of it. There was a very small section in the bookstores, in the back. It was called self-help, you know, and I would go there for solace and direction and assistance and answers to some of the questions. And today, you know, we can say that, you know, personal development is a multi-billion-dollar industry And that if you go into Barnes and Nobles now, it's just rose upon rose upon rose upon rose of self-improvement, self-development, personal development, you know, it's, you know, taken off, obviously, and it has, as it has, i believe, all over the world.
Speaker 2:But to my point, you know that you know, to my point about wanting to or needing to and really how I advocate, that everyone takes the time to put personal development in their daily routine, just like you would. You know brushing your teeth and you know brushing your hair or taking a shower and walking the dog, right, it's kind of one of those things that you know you've got to advocate for yourself because, especially in these times, i mean, we're going through like I don't know what we're going through. I couldn't even describe it if I wanted to. So times are very challenging and life is very triggering. You know it can be. It's a great place to be, don't get me wrong, but it can be very triggering as well. So my thought, my premise is when you've got the tools in the shed that you needed, any given time, no matter what triggers, no matter what comes through, no matter what storm is happening, you might lose a leaf or two, maybe a branch you know, but you never really get uprooted with the storm and be transported away.
Speaker 2:So that's kind of the premise of all of that. I called it a regime, because a regime is an organized way of doing things And as opposed to coming to my book and thinking, oh my God, i'm going to be reading about self. Oh no, there's no real reading here. This is a resource. This is kind of a it's a read workbook You're going to actually practice through the 12 re-chattas.
Speaker 2:So release, rebuild responsibility, reinvent all the different things that you know you will encounter along the way when you take a deeper dive into self and why you are wired the way you're wired, whether it be through you know, epigenetics, genetics, whether it be through generational trauma, whether it be whatever it is, whether it be through what you've learned once you got here, you were born, you, and what your friends, your family, your educative processes, whatever it is social media you know all of the stuff that we are getting bombarded with all the time. It's kind of hard sometimes to stay on. What is true for? what is true for MePath, what works for MePath, what doesn't work for MePath, what is toxic, what's not. So we work on all of this in the book and I'm so proud of this work. I really am, because I know how much it's helping.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you know you talk about like we talked about earlier, just about how you know that the fear of getting up in front of you know eight million people, or even just getting in front of you know eight people a faith that's in the public speaking. You know you talk about the self-esteem regime. You talk about putting together this process and all these different tactics that you can take to help build it. Is this something that you had to build within yourself over a series of years? Is this very personal?
Speaker 2:Oh, hell, yeah, you know. They always say you got. You know, teach what you need to learn. I think you've heard the saying before right, teach what you need to learn. And I also, as an imperfect being, and I, as someone who you know, been through things, i've been through things and and I've had to find my way out of those things and the only way through is Going through it. You know there's no around it. You know you've got to plow up, plow ahead, and that's, you know, where in lies the strength that you will find. You know, i heard a saying recently, and I hear it more frequently, and that, as you have no idea How strong you truly are, you know, and so it's also a self-discovery process that you know.
Speaker 2:I don't really wish on everyone, but I wish it on them because I love the idea, the illumination that happens after you go Wow, damn, i actually got through that. You know, i, actually I could, i did it. It's, it's, it's almost like you know, check next. You know, check that one off the list. What you know, bring it. What else can you bring that I couldn't possibly get through? so Life is it can be very, very difficult, very, you know, challenging and triggering.
Speaker 2:We all know that. But what tools do we have in the shed on any given time? You know, i can I use that tree analogy, right, i said, well, my shed it's in the backyard now. If I didn't have the rake, the shovel, the hoe, the trash can and some trash bags, you know when that hurricane comes through, my backyard is gonna look pretty freaking messy, you know. But I know I go over to the shed, pull out the tools, you know, get it all cleaned up and I'm good to go. You know, and that's kind of it gives it gives it Image, if you will, gives a an image to the. You know the analogy that I make about the tree and the uprooting of the tree. So We're never gonna be uprooted once we.
Speaker 2:You know, and these this is the way to do it either the books, there are courses, there are classes, there's all kinds of ways now for us to stay on Top of wanting to be a better person, more than you are today. You know, that's the only person you ever really need to To compare yourself to. Because you say I'll never compare yourself to someone else. Yes, that's true, and you never should. And there's a million reasons why you should never compare yourself to someone else, but who you really need to be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Right, who were you yesterday and how are you better today?
Speaker 2:I don't know, it could be a teeny little thing, could be you know what? I drag an extra two glasses of water today for my health. I Complimented a lady and little stuff. It doesn't have to be broad stroke. I complimented somebody today. I don't know what a nice haircut or love that shirt or what a cute big, whatever it is. You know, when we're putting good stuff out into the world, even if it's just little things, if I'm making somebody else feel better, i know I'm feeling pretty good about it too.
Speaker 2:Yeah simple stuff. We, we are the ones that are constantly, you know, we convoluted and we and we confuse things. We're the ones that make it much harder than it really needs to be. So you know, when I get back to the book, yes, it's, it's a book, it's a read and not a reser. Excuse me, it's a resource and not a read, but it's a manual. For me, it's also a mission and a movement, because I want to see everyone living as an esteemed being.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know it's. It's interesting what, as you were talking and I'm thinking about your background, you know, being a model, being an actress, i mean you know, talk about making yourself vulnerable, right, i mean you're, you're literally in this situation where you're supposed to, you know, represent some type of perfection and the second, you're not perfect. You know you're gonna probably hear about it and I could imagine just putting myself in that situation. Uh, you know, there's probably times where your, your ego can be bruised and you have to have thick skin, you have to be willing to read things about yourself.
Speaker 1:But, you know, in today's day and age, with social media and you know, i think you especially see this in younger generations They are putting their world out there and you know they are in situations where, you know, their egos are being bruised and, you know, maybe they feel like they have to live up to an unfair, uh, representation of what is expected of them. Um, so I I do see the uh, you know those parallels. I mean, is this something that you've been developing over over many, many, many, many years?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, rejection is redirection.
Speaker 2:You know, it's just another way of taking a look at things, and what everybody else thinks about me is none of my business. So I just want to be the best person I could be, and we all know. You know you're never going to be. You know everybody's gonna like you. You can be the most likeable person on the planet. Everybody's gonna like you. So that's one of the things that was the hardest, i think, for me to rectify, because I just wanted everybody to like me. I thought it was real likeable and well, you know What? it's not gonna work that way.
Speaker 2:So, um, and I could be also. I could be very difficult and I can be moody, and I'm first, i'm a human being. So You know, it was one of those things that as I was growing and as I was learning, you know I came from a very Loud and violent uh background. So for me, when I got out to the world, screaming and yelling was my way of communicating and it was. It was powerful to me And it was overpowering other people and it was this whole power play thing. I didn't know that when I was 18, i didn't know it from any of this stuff, but I had to learn it as I went and now I know that yelling and screaming gets you Nowhere and I stopped doing that Ions ago, you know.
Speaker 2:So again, you thank mom and dad for what they taught you. They did the best they could. You know, parents doesn't come with a manual. And then you, you honor them and you really you forgive them for Um, any of the trauma that you know you have gone through. You honor, like I say, with my Um, uh, value system. Right, so one of the most important things that we, what we can come to the table with with happy, healthy self-esteem, it's our value system. And if I say, give me your top four values right now, most people are gonna go Oh crap, i don't know. You know what? if I know what values really are Here in mind, very clear and concise, i take the high road and that is honesty, integrity, gratitude and honor, and I can go through all them and tell you why. But I think that those are really, really important.
Speaker 2:And then, when you Honor your parents, what you're doing is you're just saying you know what? Uh, it's not. You know, that's your projection. You projected on to me. I'm, i okay, i get it, but that's not going to work for me. You know, thank you for what you've done, appreciate it, all of that, but it's just not going to work for me. So you just keep moving forward and it's okay. You know It all works out in the wash, let's just put it that way. So, being a at a certain point, you have to understand that you you're gonna have to take a lot of. It's going to take tenacity and courage When you're working on yourself and self-esteem, but knowing that at the end of the day, what you really being is bigger, bolder, brighter and and more beautiful inside and out than what you were taught.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how do you? you know, one of the things I find very fascinating and you know I deal with my daughters right now is, um, this idea of overcoming a fear of failure. Right, the, the ability to look at failure is a stepping stone to success. Right, it's, it's okay to fail, you know, it shouldn't affect your self-esteem, it doesn't make you a lesser person. I know that's a topic that you talk about a lot of. Yeah, it's like, yay, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Not necessarily what I wanted to do. I failed. It was my first attempt in learning Okay so.
Speaker 2:Yay, i know what I'm not going to do. I know what not work. It doesn't work. What's you know what I have to let go of next? So what should I try now so that I will be that much closer to my goal, that much closer to success?
Speaker 2:So you know, the other thing that goes, you know, hand-in-hand with with failure is fear. Right, i'm afraid to fail. So you know that fear, right there in my life, has kept me paralyzed More occasions than I would like to, to admit. But I don't live in that anymore. I used to.
Speaker 2:As a kid, everything was, you know, really difficult for me. Oh, my god, i had to belabor everything and oh, it was horrible. Now I just go. Okay, here we go. You know, i took a deep breath and I hope for the best. And then what I do know is that, you know, through that failure, let me just say I've been blessed with A little bit of celebrating and being blessed with knowing what's not going to work. Now again, what's next? So fear is and there's a lot of acronyms around fear, but I like, face everything and rise right, just do it. Do it anyway, you know, plow through the fear. Fear is a part of life. It's, it's part of you know, it's part of our formation, it's a formation process, right? And then, as is failures. So unless we go through those things and we kind of master them, master the fear, plow through anyway. Know that I may potentially fail. It's not what I'm setting up to. But should I fail, no big deal. Next, right, right.
Speaker 1:So It does. The self-esteem issue, you know, as we're talking about building self, strong self-esteem, is it differ between men and women in general? I mean, is this book written Primarily for women? Is it also something that that a man can take something out of? Absolutely, when the book first came out I don't know if you can see there are three iterations of blue here.
Speaker 2:Three different triangles. They were pink, yellow and orange.
Speaker 2:When I first got it Back from the publisher, which is a New York City publisher, traditionally published. And you know when you, when you talk to Traditional publishers, you Don't get a say in too much of anything. You write the book or the manuscript, you're done, you know. So. When I first saw the, the, it was beautiful. And by the way, i will tell you this, greg, that had I remained with the original colors, it would have just jumped off the. You know the, the shelves at Barnes and Noble boom. But I asked them if they would make one change for me.
Speaker 2:Could they make it the three iterations of blue, so that men would be drawn to it, so they wouldn't feel bad picking it up? and I will tell you I have had more. Yes, it was originally started out for women. The case studies are all women, but it doesn't mean that you can't plug and play. They're all it kind of you know self-esteem goes down, or it kind of you know self-esteem goes very wide and very deep. We could be here talking about self-esteem It's so many Of it's different. Um, i'll use the word iterations again. But I was so thrilled when they said, yeah, okay, no problem.
Speaker 2:And when I dropped the book in Italy in November and I was going around the country to the different engagements that I had, half I honestly got it with the craziest thing and I would never have expected it from the Latin if you will, latin background community, the Italian machoga. Half of that room was male, half of the room was male And that really drove home for me that I was right when I said nobody is exempt, self-esteem does not discriminate, that it is for men and women And that men especially. Right now I would venture to even I would venture right now to even go out on a little bit of a limb and say they need a little bit more love and attention right now than anybody might, because they're getting so damn bashed all the time. And it breaks my heart because guys have really lost. I think they lost their way in their direction because things changed so drastically between what their mother taught them and what their girlfriends were bringing to the table The traditional values and what women became. Because women wanted to go out into the workforce and be independent And most moms really were grandmothers' moms, depending on where you fall in the age range.
Speaker 2:You know, it was kind of like an overnight change. It was like whoa, okay, i was supposed to be the provider and the alpha male and I was supposed to be the leader of my family. And now you're telling me yeah, no, that doesn't work that way. And then it was just as easy. And then it was dating became really difficult. So it was like all of a sudden just swipe left. You know, it was like you, yes, you know, you know, you know you, yes, you know. I mean it just became so impersonal And I think that it was really disabilizing for a lot of guys.
Speaker 2:It kind of went what the hell's going on here. I don't know, you know, so I'm going to go with. You know, i would give kudos and a lot of love to guys who are hanging in there and trying to, you know, like really navigate the terrain. And, by the way, it's the same for women. We're not. You know, we also have to deal with a lot of different things. That you know and we won't go down that path. But we have to deal with a lot of different things too, and one of them is our safety right. So we won't go down that path.
Speaker 2:But we definitely want to be all inclusive when it comes to speaking about. I want to truly see everyone living as an esteemed being all over the world, and certainly that includes men, and men should not feel any blame, shame or guilt at all when it comes to saying I want to be a better man, i want to better myself. I'm going to be living in that, you know, personal development section. I'm picking up that book, i'm reading that book. I mean I want to be, you know, i want to be a really good guy, yeah, and then, yeah, i want to be a better man too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, i would assume that you know, maybe the things that can affect a man may differ slightly than what may affect a woman in some components. But you know, as you described kind of the artwork on your book, i think that there's a lot of overlap, but I would assume you know that the psychology behind how we need to address those are very similar, whether you're a male or a female.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, it's very similar in that we all want to be seen, we all want to be heard And we all want to be loved and supported and appreciated. That's it. That is the bottom line, right there. I don't care what creed, what color, what sex, what gender, whatever the heck is going on, i don't care. That's it. I want to be seen, i'd like to be heard and I really want to be loved. I'd love to be appreciated. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I know you talk a lot about support groups in general. I would assume that that plays a big part of this, because we can't choose our parents and we don't all come from happy, healthy backgrounds.
Speaker 2:And so what we're bringing to the table again, remember, i talked about generational trauma we're bringing a lot more to the table than we think. So not only are we bringing everything that we you know genetically, then we're bringing this, you know this, all of this baggage along with us. Then we have to deal with what's going on around us and make up our minds as to what's toxic, what's not, what's working for me, what's not, what's serving me, what's not, who's out, who's in, and making sure that the choices that we make, the best to our ability, are the ones that are being driven by educated decisions. And when I say educated, yes, of course our you know educative institutions and colleges and all the rest of that. That's great. And you come to the table a real smart person.
Speaker 2:But I'm talking about this stuff. I'm talking about, you know, where's your self-esteem When your feet hit the ground in the morning, where you, at Like, are you good with yourself? You're not good with yourself Because, again, remember, you know, life ebbs and flows. And here comes that storm again, right, because that storm and those tools in the shed, you're not going to use them just one time in life, right? You're going to use them on more than one occasion. So you want to make sure that you know. That's why I say be a better person more than you are today, because you know you want to continually be building upon that. You know that self-empowerment, if you will, that self-improvement And being self-aware. You know knowing what triggers you. That's where we go back and we start talking about, not all the way I'm not the imposter syndrome so much, but the emotional triggers that come along. Where are we on that? you know.
Speaker 2:So, emotional intelligence. The emotional intelligence, you know, emotional intelligence is someone's like, wow, okay, why is that triggering me? Where is it coming from And what can I do to make sure it doesn't trigger me again? Look, this takes work. It doesn't go. You know what I have to. You know we really need to be thinking more about what we're thinking about. Think about, think more about what we're thinking about. So if you get a message that when you're a kid, that you're not good enough and you're not worthy enough, you're going to spend the rest of your life proving to everybody that you are, i'm good enough, i'm good enough. Here's another thought about I'm good enough, i am enough, i am enough, i am, i'm. So. I'm good enough, i am enough, i am enough. The definition of enough is only as much as is required. Not about you, but I know about me and I know that I am so much more than enough, and that's the new mantra. The new mantra is now I am so much more than enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me, let me ask you a question about that, because one of the through lines that I find with a lot of high achievers, people who have accomplished a lot, is this concept of a chip on their shoulder. And you know, i, i I find it fascinating because I think I grew up with, with some things in my past that have driven me to prove myself, to prove myself that I'm enough, as you said, and that that chip in many cases can manifest itself in a chip, really brutal Right, i mean to be brutal and and, and I think sometimes it can manifest itself in a negative way. Now, i mean, we haven't completely gone into your background, but I mean you're, you've been knighted and you've been, you've met the Pope and I mean you've done all these really fascinating, really fascinating things. And you know, now you're, you're an author and speaker, and all these like, do you feel like there was something previous in your life that you're trying to prove to your, to other people?
Speaker 2:I think you know, i think at this point, i, you know, i don't, i am so driven on the mission that I know is important right now. And I know, look, i can't see the world and I'm not here to Evangelical or Evangelize. I go in Beligio. I'm not saying any of that. Look, i am as imperfect as the next and I, but I do, you know, i've been, as I said, i've been around a while and I've been through it all and all the you know the things that you're talking about and the chip on your shoulder. I've been through all that stuff. You know, i've worked out all that stuff because it's workable. It's workable and you do need to work on it, which is why I the call to action is come to the table every day, come, even if you have to put 15, 20 minutes into your calendar, just like you would any other appointment that you have doctor, lawyer, indian, chief veterinarian, get your nails done, get your hair cut, walk the dog I don't care, you need to make people. I don't have the time to read that. You do. You have the time. You know it takes. It takes, you know, eight minutes to read a chapter in my book, if that you know what I mean. You've got the eight minutes. So what I'm trying to say is you know you definitely want to continually be. You know, making sure that you are coming to the table wanting to be the best version of yourself. That's number one. And number two, you know. Know that there are going to be times that you're going to just have to reparent yourself. You know you must advocate for yourself. You've got to be the one to say okay, the toxic stops. Here, i get it. Thank you everybody, thank you behind my shoulder, thank you for what you've brought. It's up to me now. I got to put on my big girl britches. I got to put on my big boy britches. I got to stop Wham, wham, wham. You know, because that's why it's also a regime.
Speaker 2:A regime is it's an organized way of doing things. You know it's like tomorrow is not promised. You know, like people ask me before, are we in a hurry to do? no, we don't have to be in a hurry, but don't squander your time. Don't waste it either, because tomorrow is not promised. Do the things that you normally wouldn't think about doing. Like you know, i can do anything. Yeah, okay, you can do anything until you can't, and I picked that that freeze up from a country in Western song. I wish I could remember the guy saying it. And it's, and it's a truth. I can do anything until I can't.
Speaker 2:So when I say this, who comes to mind when I say who should you really pick up a phone and call? Who should you really, without blame, shame or guilt, send a card to and apologize? Who is it that you really have, you know, eliminated from your life? and maybe you were too harsh? Who is it that really hurt you? that you know? whatever, whatever that is because tomorrow isn't promised and life happens, you know, and we see that happening in our lives every day. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:So just passed off cancer. What do you mean? You know, i had them, you know, a month ago, or I had no idea. You know that kind of stuff, right, it goes on all the time. So that's where, when you start to track that way with your mindset and you, i want to be a better person Again. No shame, no blame, no guilt, and I'm going to put the good juju out there. I'm going to put it out in the card and email a call, and if I don't hear anything back, that's up to the universe and what it wants to do with it. But I know that I did the right thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And if I hear back from that person, all the better, i feel. but you must start to to advocate for yourself in wanting to be the best person you can be. Remember also that for fathers and I say this frequently to be the man that you would want your daughters to marry And I have said this over and over again and it always hits someone, especially when I speak to men about this Be the man that you would want your daughter to marry. And boy does that. sometimes some guys go ho ho ho. I had one guy at my. clearly you changed my life, i have. the years ago, when I told somebody that because he came to me for some advice And I said so, are you? are you the man you'd wanted to marry?
Speaker 2:And it really, it really does kind of. you know, the daughters are impacted with the relationship with their father in a way that men never understand. If he's a good guy, she's going to look for a good guy. If he's not, she's probably going to be looking for some real trouble for the rest of her life. So be just mindful of that, because you, you know you brought up your girls and I know you did with so much love. but just keep that in mind all the time, and I'm sure you do Yeah absolutely That's.
Speaker 1:It's. It's absolutely something I think about and I'm aware of. Oh, you know, one of the one of the things that you brought up that I I think is really powerful is this idea of of little actions, right, i mean, i know atomic habits and that kind of that concept and that book that came out and there's a lot of really good, good points about that. But I think it's very easy to have this like paralysis by analysis or you know, you sit in, you're in a certain role and you see this thing if you want to be, and you're like I have no idea how to get there and it just seems so big and it seems unattainable. And you know the reality of it is it's.
Speaker 1:It's like the old saying, like how do you need an elephant? one bite at a time. And you know you can start tomorrow with something really, really small. I know you talk about, you know, mirror therapy, right? Like what are some of the small little baby steps people can do to just get them on the road, get the ball rolling, get momentum to start building?
Speaker 2:Yeah, i love that, i love the mirror therapy, but let's start with journaling. Journaling is really super powerful and people don't give enough credit you know, credence to it. That's one more thing I got to do my day and a night Man. it is just such a brain dump Just gets everything out, gets it out there, gets it really clear And though it's really cool about what not necessarily the impact of what's happening in the moment which is pretty impactful When you go back and you read it a month or six months from now and you see where you were and the improvements that you've made, because you've written down the improvements that you want to make and you put and you implement them. That is extraordinary. The other thing that I love in the book is the is definitely the mirror therapy. I picked that up along the way from Louise Hay, who was super tightened in the personal development industry, and then Jack Canfield used it in his works as well, and I knew that if they were using it, it was good enough for me also. And that's when you.
Speaker 2:there are two ways to approach a mirror And one is when you look at the mirror and you're doing your makeup and brushing your hair and brushing your teeth and doing the thing, or you can look into the mirror. When you look at the mirror, you're in and you're out. When you look at them into the mirror, you're really delving into your own soul, which is a really uncomfortable place to be when you're sitting there going I like you, i love you, i'm so proud of you. I forgive you, whatever it is. you need to be saying whatever it is you wish everybody else was saying to you. you might as well. you know that's never going to happen. You're never going to hear really what you want to hear. you know barely or rarely from others.
Speaker 2:Go back, as I said before, this is where you advocate for yourself and where you almost reparent yourself, right, and you say the things to yourself that and some people look, it's a weird. it's a weird exercise. I get it And it's going to feel really uncomfortable. You're probably going to want to do this when nobody else is home, but it's the. it's a really important, even if it's five minutes a day, even it's one minute a day. start with one and you'll see that as you become more comfortable with this, you'll start in the mirror and you'll just go feeling pretty good today, looking really good, so proud of you. You know the way you handle that interview. you know top notch. you know whatever. whatever you need to hear is what you need to say. Excuse me to yourself, i know it sounds weird, but trust me when I tell you it's extremely powerful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a lot of things like that, but I think a younger self I would have thought were you know kind of corny or whatever it might be. But you know, i've been doing more coaching myself. I've been coaching and I've been getting some coaching and you know so much about. Coaching is really just listening right And allowing people.
Speaker 1:You know the whole philosophy behind being a coach is this idea that the person you're talking to is is is complete, they're resourceful in their whole right And it's not about you coming to the table with let me solve your problems for you. It's just talking to them and helping them understand and work through their own problems. And you would think it's like, well, i don't know how valuable that is, but I've had these unbelievable experiences where you know, whether I've been on the coach side or the coach C side, just having somebody talk and like be able to really get in touch with their own thoughts are and their own feelings are have have been remarkably powerful and something like affirmations where you're like, oh, that's kind of whatever it is. Those types of things are unbelievably powerful when actually put into practice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, i think that we need to be really, you know, being again more mindful about just how lucky we truly are and you know that we have agency to better ourselves in any given moment. You know, again, the toxic stuff's here. You know, we're constantly especially in self-esteem and some of its issues are comparing. So we compare to the Joneses and we compare on social media. You know Tai Lopez and he's in front of the you know huge mansion with the four Lamborghinis out front or whatever it is. You know you're called wow, you know.
Speaker 2:And so with some people it's like it's really difficult to rectify that. You know, we work so hard and we may not be that far along yet, right, but I often say, you know, the grass is always greener where you water it, you know. So the grass is greener on the other side. Well, it's really greener where you water it, and is the grass really greener or is it astroturf? So how much of what you know they wanted us to perceive did we believe, and how much of it is reality. So that's where I have to say to be very, very careful when it comes to social media, what we're believing there, what we buy into, and remembering also that you know, we never walked a mile in anybody else's shoes, you know. And so that you know, i consider myself extremely lucky because there are a lot of shoes out there that I know just wouldn't fit.
Speaker 2:And so I'm happy, i just being really happy and really grateful for who I am, for what I am, for what I have. And, yeah, can it be a motivator? Absolutely. You know what I love to have my Maybach in the garage. Damn right, i would. But I don't right now, you know. And so you know, if I get a Bentley I'd be fine, i'll get the Maybach, let's get the Bentley. Look, i'm joking, but you know what I'm saying. I'm happy for what I have. That is absolutely. It's a phenomenal motivator And I use it as such, but I never use it as something that I begrudge on anyone else, or I certainly never use it. As you know, something I want to be envious or jealous of, because certainly those are, those are very low emotions on the, on the vibrational scale. We don't want to be there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so you, you, you have, you have obviously have the book. you have a podcast to yourself. I know you run a media company on your end. Tell me a little bit more about that. What are you? what are you doing from kind of a wider perspective?
Speaker 2:Yeah, in the limelight media was born about three and a half years ago and it was, you know, television, podcast, digital magazine. Because of the book and the importance of giving the book, i'm doing a little bit less with all of that. We've got a new magazine dropping in about a month, so that's happening. And then the television piece I'm taking a new look at and taking some cobwebs away from where that was, moving that into we were on Roku, amazon Fire and Apple TV, living in another direction there, and the podcast I'll be picking up again in September.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, this has been a little bit of a transitional time. But in the limelight was born basically to, you know, to give voice especially to solopreneurs and entrepreneurs, so that they'd have a place, you know, a softer place to land and that you know we could get their message out in a big, better way And it wasn't going to be costing them an arm and a leg. So that's, that's how that was born. So in the limelight, i thought was the perfect name because remember I was Mary Poppins in the kindergarten.
Speaker 1:That's right. So you've done, like I said, a lot of fascinating things. I know you were part of a group that helped get a Nobel Prize winner. For what is it? Walk of Africa. What is it?
Speaker 2:It was called.
Speaker 1:Walking Africa, yeah. Walking Africa, yeah. What's like the one achievement or award that kind of stands out to you?
Speaker 2:I think the two, what three of them that were really big for me. One of them, obviously, was, you know, being the ambassador of the United States to help African women win the Nobel Peace Prize. You know, I helped. From here I was able to go to to European Parliament in Brussels, meet with the caravan of African women, speak on the panel. It was beautiful, It was a lovely thing. So when I found out that in that year, which was 2011, there were two, there were, sorry, there were 211 candidates for the Nobel Peace Prize that year And they won, So that was a crowning moment for sure.
Speaker 2:Obviously, the two private audiences of folk jump all. The second work for my social work was, you know, something that of a dream. And then the third one would have been being the first American to present on, to really first American, beyond the stage at the Kremlin. But I was the first American to present live television at the Kremlin. When I lived in Italy, there was a, there was a designer, an Italian designer, that went and because I was already working on television and presenting, I speak English and Italian, So they had you know the Italian, I knew the Italian, you know what they wanted to say. I translated that into English and the lady standing next to me translated it from English into Russian, And we were on stage at the same time going live on Russian television.
Speaker 2:This was in January of 90. So it was two months after the wall fell in Berlin. So it was like chop, chop, really quick, And and so that to me was you know, that was, and it's documented that I was the first American to be. You know the front pages of a Russian newspaper, that whole thing it was. It was amazing. So, and now I think the crowning moment is, notwithstanding the fact that how many books are published every year millions, if not more to be able to still be on the shelves and Barnes and Noble across the United States after a year and a half, right next to Brené Brown, Deepak Chopra and Dr Joe Dispenza that are.
Speaker 2:Titans in the personal development industry. If I do say so, i I think it's it's my latest crowning achievement.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fantastic, the self esteem regime. I am curious before we go what do you? what do you? what do you talk about in a in a private session with John Paul II?
Speaker 2:There were 12 of us and he was very old at the time, so I'm going back to like 2004.
Speaker 2:He was really pretty old, so you know only 12 of us that went in and you know, i knelt in front of him and I took his hand and I thanked him so much for the work that he had done And he put his you know, he did the sign of the cross on my forehead and I held his hand and, and you know, i I thanked him profusely for being probably one of the most loved popes of all time And he was obviously, you know, he was very, very I think he smiled. So that was that, it was. It was, it was at a stage in his life where he was rather, you know, did you see the picture of it?
Speaker 1:I did not see the picture of him. No.
Speaker 2:Hold on.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's just right here. So here it is. So, as I say, you can see, he was rather old at the time.
Speaker 1:So he was a little.
Speaker 2:He was a little hunched over and, you can see, even has a hearing aid in.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So he was a little, you know, he was a little older at the time, so I, you know, I wanted to be mindful and respectful of that as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As he was the age that he was, but it was. It was nonetheless. It was my second, you know, private audience and dumb, and it was extraordinary.
Speaker 1:What were you doing that that allowed that to happen?
Speaker 2:So you know, I've never been married and I've never had children, which left my weekends. I was working on television there and I was rather well known from TV And so there, i mean, i got called almost every weekend to be somewhere in Italy for charities or you know benefits, or you know organizations that needed a name and so that the name would attract people. And I always went and I never asked for money, i never asked for anything, i just said, look, send me a car, i'll be there, you know. And look, i don't want to say anything, but you know, italy is long and narrow, it's like Jersey and California, so you could, some of these trips are like eight hours long. You know just one way.
Speaker 2:But but really, you know, and I used to tell them all the time don't give me flowers and I don't want the plaque, just put that money into the charity. Invariably I got the flowers and the plaque, but I always I showed up because it was the right thing to do. You know, i mean people needed help and they needed, they needed somebody. Most celebrities asked for money to go do things like that And I didn't.
Speaker 2:So it was my way of giving back, greg, that's all. It was Just my way of giving back. And when I talk about the four pillars of self-esteem, it's look good, feel good, be good and greater good. And the greater good is paying it forward, tithing, volunteering, paying back, you know, as a reminder to yourself of just how lucky you really are.
Speaker 1:Do you, do you still get back to Italy very often? I'm assuming you're still relatively well known back there.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, i get back there frequently. I was just back again in November, december for the drop of the book which went really really well, and I haven't been back since. but you know I get back every once in a while I get called for something or I just go back just because and yeah, it's good, and you, just, you just learned Italian, like when you went over there back when you were younger.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, when I got there, i knew ciao and Arrivederci and that was it. And then you know, little by little. You're sitting at dinner table and you go, you know, you hear that word a lot And I, what does that word mean? And usually the bad words you learn. First, you know the curse words, you know, and then you know it's also it's a Latin root. So it's much like Spanish and French when you've got in Portuguese, where you've got all the different conjugations, so many different conjugations, much like we do. They have more, and then they have the informal and the formal versions that you have to learn. So it's like learning not really two different languages, but a language and a half, if you will. So you know you have to address elders in a certain way, and then you know informal is just what we you and I are doing. So, but it was extraordinary, i think, the most beautiful language on the planet. I still speak it And you know I don't need an app.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we're part of the country. We're part of the country Did you live in when you were there?
Speaker 2:So I started Milan in the, you know, back in the modeling years. I was in Milan for about three years And then I moved down to Rome, which is where I was for the rest of the remainder of the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you still do any acting?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, i did all of that because I loved all of that And I did all of that. My acting was I did about 18 different movies when I was there, but I really loved the live audience. I loved. I fell in love with TV. I didn't like the waiting around time on the set, i didn't like all of that waste, i didn't. I loved live television. The buzz that live gives you is I love a television set, i just love TV. So yeah, but you know, again, i just, and I love what we're doing now on on Zoom. You know this is this is extraordinary work for me to you know, for me to be on your show and to get the really important messages out there. So thank you so much for this opportunity.
Speaker 1:No, thank you. Thank you for coming on. It's it's been a pleasure to speak with you. I was very interested to have this conversation. You just have such a fascinating background And then you know, as I said, the book you know is something that I think is really important And, as a father of daughter, is something that I'm constantly thinking about and working through, And I really appreciate you taking the time to help explain it. And, for anybody out there, you can get it on Amazon, Barnes, Noble, like all the all the bookstores.
Speaker 2:All the bookstores. So yeah, definitely in the stores, and then you know Amazon and all the countries, and then you can get it also on Barnes Noble online too.